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Make No Your Default
Short-term pain, long-term gain.
This is almost impossible to put into practice. I should know. I’m the perennial yes man. I view it as a sign of friendliness, resolve, ambition, courage, steel…all things great and good, right?
No.
It’s not. My valour and logic are wrong. No should be my default. It’ll piss people off, make me appear stronger, more virtuous, more busy…more whatever. And it actually increases their respect for me. People don’t like hearing No. Which is why I need to make it my default.
Yes is easy. Yes comes with instant gratification and long-term pains. It causes regret and hurt and confusion and bewilderment and pondering over decisions and excuses.
No is hard. Upfront cost — huge, but over time, it smooths out everything: all the hassle, all the negativity, all the issues, all the anger, the hatred, the vehemence, the lackadaisical decision-making.
I remember one instance vividly. A colleague asked me to take on a project I had no interest in. My instinct screamed No, but I smiled and said Yes. What followed was weeks of frustration, late nights, and a final product that didn’t even meet expectations. I was left drained and disappointed. That Yes cost me dearly, not just in time but in mental peace.
